


My Bounty or Yours?

by Pyreite



Series: DAI x Witcher Crossovers [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bounty Hunters, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Dead Dragon - Freeform, Dead Horse, F/M, Hart mount, Negotiations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-07 10:55:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8798122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pyreite/pseuds/Pyreite
Summary: Ellana argues with a Witcher over the bounty for a contract on a High Dragon.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Random oneshot.
> 
> Unedited.

"Bitch!"

"Ass".

"I took that contract!"

"It's not my fault you're slow, Witcher".

Ellana took a seat on the dragon's scaly snout. The beast was dead though its corpse was still warm. Brains and blood leaked out the gaping hole in its skull. Ellana didn't mind the giant eyeball dangling an inch from the ground. The stringy sinew and goo stank to high heaven, but she'd smelt worse things than a dead dragon.

"Slow? Oh! You think you're real smart don't you? Sitting there on your fat ass like a fucking, Queen! I could snap you like a twig if I wanted too!"

The witcher was scarred and grizzled like an old bear and growled just as loudly as one too. His charming personality wasn't winning him any sympathy. The scar over his right eye ran from his temple to his chin. It was deep and puckered, but well-healed suggesting he'd fought hard to earn it. Ellana could sympathise with that.

She had her own share of scars too.

"Is that supposed to scare me?" she retorted. "I just killed a High Dragon on my own while it was trying to roast me alive. You're small fry compared to that beast. Witcher or not. You're going to have too do more than hiss at me to convince me to hand over my bounty".

"Is that a threat?"

"That depends", said Ellana. "On whether or not you're willing to indulge my curiosity".

She appraised him from head to toe. She smiled sweetly, cheeks dimpling, when his cat-eyes narrowed. He didn't trust her one bit. Good. It would make her conquest of him all the more enjoyable.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Ellana arched a slender eyebrow. She gave him a long, lingering, flirtatious look. She grinned like a cat that caught the canary when he finally caught on. He chuckled, head shaking, and called her out. His golden eyes twinkled.

"So, you've heard the rumours".

"Witchers are rumoured to have extraordinary stamina", cooed Ellana. "I'd like to test that theory for myself in the right setting of course".

"And what setting would that be?"

"A bed".

Lambert snorted. "I'm not about to whore myself out for a bounty".

"Who said anything about you?" quipped Ellana. "Darling. This is all about me and what I want. You just get to spend a few nights plucking my strings as much as you like. Unless you'd prefer to be the gentleman and stand aside while I collect the bounty I earned".

"Not a chance".

Ellana laughed. "Then stop being an ass, forget your pride, and seduce me".

Lambert's golden cat-eyes eyes narrowed. He studied her for several moments. He was taken aback when she gave him a flirtatious wink. Her smile, full of sultry promise, would have made a weaker man melt into a puddle of goo. Lambert liked to think that he was made of sterner stuff than the average bloke.

"Fuck me. You're serious".

Ellana waggled her eyebrows. "That's my line, Witcher".

Lambert couldn't help but grin at her.

"Shit. You're crazy. Sexy as hell, but still crazy. It's not every day I get propositioned by a beautiful woman trying to steal my bounty. I'm not sure if this is a joke or a trap".

Ellana licked her lips. "It's both, Witcher". She giggled when he reached over his shoulder for the hilt of one of the twin swords strapped to his back. "Easy now", she told him. "I was just teasing you. There's no need to resort to violence".

"Says you".

He was suspicious of her now.

Ellana rolled her eyes.

"Fine. All right. We can settle this later".

She slid off the dead dragon's snout, pursed her lips, and whistled for her mount.

"Hey!" growled Lambert. "Where do you think you're going? We're not finished here!"

Ellana laughed when he gaped at the gigantic bull-Hart stag trotting toward them.

"What kind of fucking cow is that?"

"It's a Hart you inbred barbarian. An elven mount. And since you don't have a horse any more. He'll be carrying us both to my fort. It's several leagues from here to the North".

Lambert warily watched her vault onto the beast's back. It was bigger than a horse and downright intimidating with that impressive rack of horns. He was envious when the she-elf took the reins and expertly turned the beast into an easy canter. Its loping strides were smoother than he thought. The cow was surprising light on its cloven-hooves.

He glared when the beast stopped before him.

A slender hand was held out to him.

"Come on, Witcher. It's my fault the dragon squashed your horse".

Lambert glared at the lump of half-charred fur crushed by a gargantuan scaled snout.

"Bitch".

Ellana wiggled her fingers. "I know I am. Now come on. We can settle our differences over a mug of ale and a plate of hot food. It'll be my treat. I owe you that much".

Lambert scowled and took her hand. He sprang up behind her, swinging a leg over the back of her mount. He was impressed when the cow didn't bolt. Most beasts didn't like Witchers. His kind too often smelt like the monsters they killed.

He settled into the saddle sullenly.

"You owe me a fucking horse".

Ellana laughed as she gave the reins a tug.

The Hart took off at a quick ground-eating stride.

Lambert cursed when he was almost unseated. He grabbed her shoulders to steady himself. His arse bounced in the saddle as the Hart trotted along. It was worse than riding a horse. The beast's gait was choppy and uneven.

It would take some getting used too.

"Bitch! You did that on purpose!"

Ellana smirked. "Do you swear this much during sex, Witcher?"

"Fuck! _I can't feel my arse_! How the hell can you sit on this fucking thing? It's so uncomfortable!"

"I'll take that as a yes".

"I have a name, woman!"

Ellana snorted. "Then what is it you crude, twit? And just for clarity. Bitch is not my real name".

Lambert glared at the back of her head.

"Smartass".

"It takes one to know one, Witcher".

He chuckled.

He was starting to like this sharp-tongued shrew.

"It's Lambert. And you?"

She smiled. "Ellana Lavellan. I'm glad to make your acquaintance. Hopefully later tonight I might make it into your bed too".

"We do have to negotiate whether or not you owe me that bounty".

Ellana laughed. "A bed is the perfect place to start".

Lambert snickered. "You just want to get into my pants".

"Eagerly, but you'll be having a bath before then. You stink of horse".

"You reek of cow".

Ellana grinned from ear to ear. She liked this foul-mouthed Witcher. He was an arsehole, but at least he was an honest one. He said exactly what he thought. It was refreshing to be around someone so frank.

"I think this could be the start of a beautiful relationship".

Lambert nodded.

"Yeah. It could be. I'm still not whoring myself out for that bounty".

Ellana's eyes twinkled. "We'll see, Witcher. We'll see".


End file.
